Bad Produce Choices

Let me just tell you something quickly.

I'm a poor cook, and a poor shopper.

I recently went to the grocery store and I bought a bunch of produce. I wanted to make some burritos. I bought beans, onions, a red pepper, some tomatoes, and an avocado. I did what you do with produce. I felt them, squeezed them, looked at them for blemishes.

Perhaps I was tired. Perhaps I just suck. But god dammit I get home and all my produce sucks. I made bad produce choices!

I open the bag and what do I see?! A tomato that looks just like this!

Lol I'm kidding it didn't look exactly like that. I'm not blind.

But it was a bit too soft. Not quite right.

OH AND THE AVOCADO! DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THIS AVOCADO!

It felt like this in my mouth:

LIKE A BIG GREEN ROCK.

Lol okay I exaggerate once again. But this avocado. Too firm. Too fucking firm. 'It should have some give when you press it, but not too much, then you know its just right'. Sorry, dad, I don't know how to follow that advice. I don't know how to pick out produce!

There is one produce metric, however, that I failed to employ: the smell test.

All I did was look at the produce and touch them. Never did I even think to smell them! Then my friend tells me, 'if you have good produce it should smell like what it should smell like. Even a zucchini,' she says, 'should smell like a zucchini'. OH! The smell test! Why you elude my knowledge?! You would think I looked like this or something:

You would think I'm one of those fools that dones't know how to utilize my sense. But apparently I don't!

Oh well! Better produce choices await!